You never realise how lonely you are until it’s the end of the day and you got a bunch of things to talk about and nobody to talk to.
If you are a regular on my blog you will know that due to numerous health conditions I still live at home with my mother. This past week however, she was away in Egypt and it was just Shaniah and I on our own during the day. Loneliness is never really something that I have ever suffered with but this week it became unbearable.
Ryan’s work has been extremely busy these past couple of weeks which although it is a good thing, it did leave me feeling a little deflated. He was mostly working up in London which meant that he was up and out the door before 5am and some days he wasn’t back until gone 6pm.
The first couple of days were fine, Shaniah and I took the bus to town and had lots of fun kicking up the leaves and going to see my Nan. However A few days in the novelty wore off. I found myself going so far into a dark place that i have never really ventured in to.
I longed for a chat with an adult.
As much as I love spending time just Shaniah and I, what I craved was a chat with another adult. After all, you cannot chat to a 3-year-old about the drama unfolding on Corrie and expect them hold out the conversation. I needed to speak to someone who saw me as Tamara and not just someone who brings them food and draws funny faces on paper, I longed to interact with the outside world!
Hours went by and I could feel myself getting more and more worked up. I couldn’t text Ryan, he was rushed off his feet at work. I couldn’t message Ashley, he was heads down at school, my dad was also at work and my mother was in Egypt. Apart from those four nobody else interacts with me – Parenthood really