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***Warning: This post is emotional, discusses mental health issues and may be a trigger to some***

If you’re reading this post, you may have read last Saturday’s post about when Autumn was ill and in hospital. This post is about how I was feeling when she was in hospital, as I was not well myself and it had a terrible effect on my mental health.

To start with, I think some background is needed. I’ve always been prone to anxiety and remember feeling anxious around the age of 6 years old. My real problems began around the age of 10, shortly before taking the eleven-plus exam. Ever since then, anxiety and panic attacks have often resurfaced around times of great stress, for example a loss in the family or GCSE/A level exams.

I was nervous about giving birth, as I didn’t know what to expect, but managed to keep my

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